That's How Love Goes
by zooloochick15
Summary: Susan and Chuck's baby arrives, but all is not well.


**Title:** "That's How Love Goes"

**Author:** Beth B.

**E-mail:** zooloochick15netscape.net

**Category:** Couples story/ Angst/ Ensemble cast Ratings: PG (for minor language)

**Spoilers:** none

**Archive:** 4/22/04 Disclaimer: NBC owns the cast of ER, I do not. I would brag about it to my grave if I did though!

**Author's Note:** Everything's the same as on the show currently. I own Dr. Barrows. Drs. Coburn and Tabish are on ER.

**Summary:** This my way of Susan and Chuck's baby making its debut in the world, accompanied with drama and surprises, not all of them good. A dramatic and humorous Chusan romance.  
  
Part I  
Susan sat on the sofa with her feet on the coffee table, blindly flipping through various TV channels. "God, I am so bored!" Just then she heard it, thee soft sound of keys jingling in someone's hands. She was so happy that he was finally home. The door knob to the apartment turned slowly and then his soft footsteps became louder. He walked up behind the couch and sighed. "Hey babe, how was your day?" "Hey stranger, my day was fine." They kissed. "Yours was good, I take it." "Yeah it was. The flight captain said I am doing an awesome job in the chopper, and then he said something about a possible...promotion?" "That's great. I'm thrilled for you." "So, what's on the agenda for tonight, Suze?" "Chuck, one: I told you not to call me Suze. Two: I don't know, but it better involve me leaving the apartment! Or someone is riding the leather pony tonight!" "Come one Susan, anything but the couch!" "Don't push it then. And yes, I am still mad because you forced me to let the perve touch my belly!" "It's like I said that day, I am used to threatening guys and having them back off. I wasn't planning on attacking him!" "Whatever you say, King Kong."  
  
Chuck smiled and whispered right into Susan's ear. "Well a lot of people love King Kong for his strong yet sensitive attitude. Does that mean that, you, my blonde companion are going to rescue me when I start terrorizing the city?" Susan laughed as she pulled herself up off the couch. "No, I would let them lock you up and then put you down." "You mean down for a nap, with you?" "No, unless you are talking about a dirt nap. Me I am not ready to take on the big sleep. I'm too bored to be tired enough for a nap." Chuck kissed the top off her head as they went into the kitchen. "Aww, is the mommy-to-be a little cranky?" "No. And you know I hate it when you call me mommy. I would have had to have hung myself if I was your mommy." He stuck his tongue out at her, teasingly. "We, then you aren't going to be a good mommy to anyone, because mine told me I'm special." "Ha! She lied."  
  
They continued to talk as they sat at the table. "So, please Chuck, tell me you are taking me our of my brick dungeon!" "Oh I guess you have earned a night out. Provided that there haven't been any problems today, with the baby." "No, our child is as happy as a clam, but hey he or she is obviously someone who prefers to sit around all day. It must have your genes of laziness." "Hey I work! We had to transport a bunch of people from an apartment fire today. It took like three hours, because we had to find a little boy who was missing. He had gone down to the basement and they couldn't get him out. He died." Susan rubbed her stomach and got tears in her eyes. Chuck noticed and rubbed her back gently. "Hey, I didn't tell you that to get you upset. I just wanted to prove that I'm not the lazy bum you think I am. Pretend I never said that! The little boy was rescued and he's fine and with his family as we speak." Susan laughed and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "No, I just worry sometimes about the bad things that might happen to our child, like that. How do we keep it from happening? Don't you worry about stuff like that?"  
  
Chuck got wide-eyed and shocked at the question. "Are you kidding Susan? I worry about our kid all the time! I mostly worry that we won't be good parents. We are cool people, and I don't know about you but I can see myself letting our kid do whatever it wants to be cool and then being completely out of control when it's our age!" Now it was Susan's turn to comfort Chuck. "Don't worry. You'll be a great dad. We already know our kid is gonna be a genius. I'm a doctor and you are a nurse. Our kid will be the next Einstein. And like you said, he or she will be the coolest kid on the block. You'll be fine once he or she is born. That's how a lot of parents are. They are freaked our by the idea of raising a kid, but when they sit the baby for the first time, they know everything will be fine." "Thanks Suze." Susan rolled her eyes. "You know, that was a Kodak moment until you called me Suze."  
  
Part II  
"Well, everything seems to be fine. Are you getting enough bed rest?" Susan looked at her doctor and gave her an "are you serious?" look. "Yeah, at this point the baby will never sleep because both of us have so much unused energy, it's insane." Dr. Barrows smiled. "That's good, but you know that no matter how much you rest, the baby will wear you out from waking up every two hours every night for the first three months." "Yeah, I can't wait. Well if we're done..." "Yes, you can get dressed and go home. I'll see you week after next." Susan got dressed and started to leave. As she was getting on the elevator, she heard a familiar voice. "Susan! Susan, good you're still here." Chuck grabbed the elevator door at the last minute and spoke to her, out of breath. "I'm sorry I'm, late. There was a five victim MVA and three had to go by chopper; one at a time. Is everything fine?" Susan got off the elevator, annoyed. "Yes, it's fine. You could have called and told me you would be late. I looked really dumb saying I didn't know where you were." "I said I was sorry, and I am." Chuck pulls Susan close to him. "How can I make it up to you?" He smiles and they kiss lightly. "You know, you can't just kiss me every time you screw up." "You're right. I guess I have to sweeten the deal with edible lotions and wine." He chuckles at what he just said. "Ha-ha, very funny. They get back on the elevator holding hands.  
  
Chuck and Susan leave the hospital and get into a taxi. "Are you coming home with me or do you need to get back to work?" "Nah, babe. I wish I could but in order to get the promotion I gotta work as much as possible. I know, the timing sucks, especially with you on bed rest. But you gotta do what you gotta do." The cabby looked at Chuck through the rear view mirror. "Where to, buddy?" "Oh, the Medivac station on 44th Street." The cab pulls away. After a bit of driving they pull up to the Medivac house. Chuck stroked Susan's belly. "Okay, bye baby. Bye Suze." They kiss. "Bye, see you later." As the cab drove off, Susan sighed. And then she thought for a minute and said to the cabby, "Go back to County General please." The driver gets a scared and panicked look on his face. "No, I'm not in labor." He calmed down and they drove off.  
  
Susan got out of the cab to see Carter sitting on the bench near the wall. "Hey Carter." "Susan?! I thought you were on bed rest." "Yeah, I am. That's why I came here." "Bored?" "Yeah just a little. You remember that part in Mark's letter from Hawaii, where he said it's not hard to appreciate working at County when it's over?" carter nodded. "Well, I may not be finished, but I now know the feeling of actually wanting to come to work. I WANT to treat gang bangers and MVA victims! Is that pathetic or what?" Carter laughed. "Are you sure you didn't come here because you are delirious with fever. Maybe you have Malaria. Ask Luka about the symptoms, he's the expert." Just then an ambulance pulled up and carter put on his cloves. "Well, I have to take this, but you can go inside and hang out." Susan waved as she went inside.  
  
Abby was sitting at Admit as Susan came in. "Susan! How are you doing?" "Ohh, I'm okay. I'm a little tired but very bored." Abby smiled. "Well, I'm off in half an hour and I know Chen is off soon, so maybe we can all do something in a little while." Just then Jing-Mei Chen walked up to them. "Susan, what are you doing here?" "She actually got tired off sitting around doing nothing." Chen looked shocked. "Hey if you are bored enough to come here of all places, then I'll trade places with you. I've had a baby and know what to expect." "I'm just sick of watching TV and eating my weight in food from lack of anything else to do! I needed to get out of the house. Do you want to come over to my place with Abby in a little while? I just invited her." "Sure. Are we the only two coming?" Susan looks around for a moment. "I don't know—Luka!" Luka walks over to them. "Hey, Susan. How's it going?" "Fine, do you and Sam want to come over to my place in a little bit, for a small get together. I miss everyone." "Nah, we can't. Sam has to work until 10 and I'm watching Alex. Sorry." "It's fine. I'll see you around." "Yeah, it was good to see you." Luka goes back to work. Susan turns to Abby and Chen. "I guess it's just the three of us."  
  
Part III  
Susan, Abby and Chen are all sitting at Susan's table eating. "So, how have things at work been?" "Quiet. Not much has been going on." "Has anyone heard from Weaver lately?" The table got quiet. Nobody really knew what to say about that. So, nobody really talked about it. But everyone was sad about the effect of Sandy's death on Weaver. Abby finally spoke. "I think she'll be okay, in time." "Yeah, me too," Susan added. The three of them were quiet for a long time. Everyone was wondering, waiting, watching. They all wanted to talk about where Susan and Chuck stood now. The whole ER knew about the perve and him molesting Susan, but it was kind of left open- ended.  
  
Abby sipped her water and took a deep breath. "Susan, you know we all want to know." Susan looked at her pretending not to know what she meant. Chen spoke up, "about where you and Chuck are going." Susan smiled. She didn't really know herself. She didn't want to mess it up, she and Chuck had a good thing going on. "Honestly, I have no idea what we are doing. We like each other, the sex is okay, and we are having a baby together, but I don't know if marriage is a step in the right direction. We are still having fun." Abby was confused. "Haven't you guys been at the "lots of laughs" phase for like, almost a year?" "Yes! But I don't know if I would be happy just ending it. You both know how it is with a spicy relationship that was hot and sweaty in the beginning. You know at some point, you have to think about your future as a couple, if there is one, and decide. You have to think about whether you are really meant to be, or if you just don't want to be alone." Chen looked at Susan thoughtfully, not exactly sure of what to say. This is exactly why she and Pratt broke up, but now she just didn't know what to do about Pratt. "Well, you should probably start by asking him, seriously, what he sees in the future, for you guys." "Ohh, he sees me staying home with three kids and a dog, but you two know that that's not me." "How did you and Pratt decide that it was over? I know that it was about your future."  
  
Chen got a shocked look on her face. "Did Greg tell you that?" Susan shook her head. "No, everyone knows that, you know that people At County feed on gossip, mainly relationship gossip, like vultures." Abby sighed, loudly. "I think everyone in the hospital was on an emotional rollercoaster right before Carter went to Africa. At least for the most part, your guys' relationship isn't the JFK Jr. and Carolyn Besset of Chicago, unlike ours." Chen smiled a half-smile. "Well my fling with Pratt wasn't exactly small- town gossip. He was the 2nd, not the first, but the 2nd black guy I dated. And it didn't help that nobody particularly liked him in the beginning." Abby rolled her eyes. "Yes, but at least you didn't have the whole world waiting, with baited breath, watching for the "king and queen of Camelot to hook up. I swear I had people asking me for two years, when Carter and I were going to get married, for God's sakes!" Chen was exasperated. "Well at least the two of you have family support. My family, when they were having dinner with Pratt and me in China town, they indirectly said, to his face, that I was going back to China, with them, to find a husband of their liking!" Susan laughed. "You two are insane! I think both of you need to instate a "no interoffice dating" rule. It'll make your lives a lot easier. Abby sat there quiet for a minute and then said, "Well I guess we are better off then Sam, who is ready to marry Luka. But maybe it's not so bad. He's changed; maybe she's doing him some good. Anyone who can keep him form being on the verge of self-destruction like he was last year, I say more power to 'em."  
  
Part IV  
Susan was lying in bed later that evening, feeling rather annoyed. "Chuck! Come back in here, unless you want to have a home birth, which I am very opposed to!" Chuck was throwing things into a bag from the hall closet like a mad man. "Don't worry babe, it's all good. You can't be too prepared for childbirth, especially when you are two weeks early." Susan groaned frustration. "I keep telling you, I really don't think I am in labor. I am a doctor; I do have a little experience with labor and delivery." Chuck was now scared and confused. "But you just said we might have a home birth if I don't come back to you! That indicated that you are in deed in labor!" "Ugh!!! I didn't mean it; I was just trying to get your atten-OHHH!!!!" Susan grabbed her belly with both hands. Chuck raced to the bedside and grabbed her hand, as she lay in pain. As the contraction subsided, Chuck looked at Susan sympathetically. "You can't fight the power of persuasion." Susan breathed deeply, "What do you mean by that?" "Well, being a flight nurse, I too have a little experience with labor, and if you weren't in labor a minute ago, it looks like you are now." As he tried to help her out of the bed, she smacked him with a pillow, hard. "No, the baby has just already decided it hates me. There's no need to panic." As he pulled her to her feet, he got a terrified look o his face. Susan asked, nervously, "what?" Chuck just kind of pointed to the bed. She turned to see spots of bright, red blood on the covers. She turned back to him, having never been more terrified in her life. "Okay, maybe we can panic now." Another wave of pain washed over Susan's body. "OWWWW!!! Oh my god! Chuck help!" He stared to nod as he tilted back to the floor, crashing through a nightstand, as he fainted. Susan tried to wake him up. "Chuck, please now is not a good time to play possum!" She leaned back to the bed as another, slightly less painful, contraction came on. Susan moaned a worried moan as she pulled herself to her feet once more. "Well, I didn't know if I wanted him there anyway." She dragged her bag behind her as she left for the hospital.  
  
As she waddled slowly down the side walk, she pulled put her cell phone. "Carter, I know you are at home, but are you busy? I need a favor." She explained the events of the lat few minutes and Carter promised to come right over. Susan walked a little ways to a bus stop bench and sat down. She tried to breathe and not worry about what could be wrong. "I am a doctor! How could a let this happen?! The kid isn't even out of the womb yet, and I have already screwed up." Just then Carter pulled up in his Jeep and got out and ran to Susan's side. "How long ago did it start?" "Oh, about 30 minutes. I don't know about the bleeding. But it wasn't a lot of blood. Maybe a couple of tablespoons, not much." "Carter held her hand as she spoke. "How many contractions did you have?" Susan looked down to her swollen belly and said, maybe four. The last two, after we discovered the bleeding were stronger." Carter looked up and down the street to see if anyone was coming. "Is Chuck still inside?" "Yeah, he fainted when he saw the blood. He's seen blood before he cared for pregnant women in distress before. What happed with him tonight?" "It's you, the woman he loves, and HIS unborn child." Susan rolled her eyes. "It figures, that the first descent guy I meet in a long time would be a wimp. Just my luck." "Owww!!!!" Susan rocked gently back and forth trying to breathe through the pain. Carter did his best to help. "Try to breathe and not worry, everything will be fine."  
  
The contraction passed. "That makes five. Carter you don't have to stay the whole time, I just need a ride, if Chuck can't do it." "Well, one of us isn't going anywhere. I'll go check on him. Can you hold out a little longer?" "I think so." Carter ran up to the apartment and called out to Chuck. "Chuck! Are you okay?!" He looked around the living room. "Where is he?" Carter ran back to the bed room and found him lying near the window. He checked for a pulse. "He's alive, that's good. I don't think we can wait for him to come to." He sat for a moment, in the silence. Suddenly Susan was screaming outside. Chuck was still out. "Bye Chuck." Carter bolted for the stairs. He got outside to see Susan kneeling on the ground. "Carter! I tried to get up and there was fluid leaking, bloody fluid." Carter was speechless, almost. "Your water broke?" "No quite, it was just a little; the bag is still in tact. I think we should go without Chuck." Carter helped her get in the Jeep. "Me too." Carter got behind the wheel and sped down the street at light speed.  
  
Part V  
Susan was laying in a bed up in OB. Carter was outside the room talking with Dr. Coburn. "Where is Dr. Barrows? She should be here. Susan is worried and wants HER, no offense." Dr. Coburn sighed. "No, I understand. Something happens to a pregnant woman; an accident or something, and I have to deliver their babies, instead of their own doctors. Anyway, I don't know if we can wait. She's abrupting and the blood clot has a slow leak. It's a rather large clot and the baby needs to be born soon. Did she say what could have caused the clot, some kind of trauma?" Carter looked back to Susan in the room, asleep after a very mild sedation. "No, except she did say that she started to fall down her apartment stairs the other day, but she caught herself." "That could have done it, since she was supposed to be resting, something little like that could be the cause of a potential problem. Is the father coming, or is it you?" Carter laughed. "Ha! Um, no it's not me. The baby's father, Susan's fiancé, fainted and I'm sending somebody to go check on him, to try to get him here before she delivers. Wish me luck with that. So, what are you doing for her in the mean time?" Coburn sighed. "Well, I need to wait for the blood tests and do an ultrasound. I need to know what's going on with this baby."  
  
They walked back in the room. Carter shook Susan gently to wake her. "Susan, come on you have to wake up, you need more tests." Susan's eyes fluttered open. "What happened? Is the baby okay? Where's Chuck? I need him here." Carter sat on the edge of the bed. "Calm down, the baby is okay, for now. We gave you a mild sedative, so you could get a little sleep, about an hour and fifteen minutes ago. The baby also has a scalp electrode for monitoring. You need an ultrasound now. We should have the blood results any minute. Chuck isn't here yet; I'm going to get someone to try to get him here." Susan had tears in her eyes. "Is the baby really okay? I mean, there was bleeding, we can't just ignore that." Dr. Coburn stepped closer to the bed. "Susan, you need an ultrasound, so that we can try to pinpoint the problem. I think you may have a placental abruption, which may have a slow leak in it. I also think it was caused by you almost falling down the stairs. Don't worry Susan; both you and the baby will be fine." Susan looked at both of them, panicked. "Is Dr. Barrows on her way?" "We called her but she hasn't called back yet." Carter got up, and headed for the door. "I'm going down to the ER to find someone to go see about Chuck. I'll be right back." Carter went down to the ER and scoured for someone to go. He spotted Abby walking out of trauma 1. It looks like they just pronounced their patient. He ran up to her. "Abby! I'm glad you're still here. Susan's in labor and she and Chuck had a scare before they came to the hospital, and he fainted. I went to their apartment when she called, but we had to get here soon, so I left him. Can you go try to wake him up, and get him here? Susan really wants him here. There are the keys." Abby was stunned at all of what Carter just said, as he went back to the elevators, she yelled, "Sure, I'll go." "Thanks Abby!"  
  
Abby got to the apartment a little before seven. Carter said Susan only had a short time to wait before she delivered. Carter called her cell phone and explained hat had happened to Susan earlier in the evening and how she was probably abrupting. Abby raced through the apartment, desperate to find Chuck. There was a soft mumbling from the bedroom. Abby saw Chuck struggling to get to his feet. "Chuck! Good, you're awake. Susan is already at the hospital and she wants you there!" Chuck had a look of fear in his eyes. Abby hadn't seen this kind of fear in a man's eyes for as long as she could remember. "Is the baby going to be okay? Susan was bleeding, and I freaked out! God, I am such an ass! How could I let her down when she needs me the most, when my unborn child needs me the most? My kid isn't even born yet and I already suck as a father!" He continued to belittle himself, and Abby tried to calm him down. "Chuck. Chuck! CHUCK! Pull yourself together!" She shook his shoulders, trying to get him to get a grip on himself. He stopped screaming and they sat on the edge of the bed. "Look, you haven't blown it yet. If you go, and be with Susan now, I'm sure she will still love you. The baby won't know the difference. The only way that you can completely screw it up is by not trying to help Susan and the baby now, when they really, REALLY need you. Carter is with her now; he brought her to the hospital. You owe him your next child after this one. But Susan really wants you with her, right now. Go!" The two of them got up and made a mad dash for County.  
  
Part VI  
Abby and Chuck ran through the ER, not even stopping to explain to people what was going on with Susan and the baby. Abby was off duty and wanted to see how Susan was doing. As soon as they got off the elevator on the OB floor they heard a horrible screaming. Chuck knew right away that it was her, Susan, the love of his life. She was in pain, and it was his job, no his duty, to be with her, and help her through this. "Suze! I'm here babe!" Abby was right behind him as he ran to her room. She was having numerous contractions. "Chuck! Thank God in Heaven you're here! Where the hell have you been? Is the birth of your child and the health of your fiancé so unimportant that you have to sleep through it?!" The looked seriously at each other for a second, and then laughed. He kissed her and held her head and wiped the tears from her face. "I'm here, and there's nowhere in Heaven or Hell that I am going to let something bad happen to you are little Suzie Martin." Susan hit him playfully. "You know I hate it when you make assumptions about names." Suddenly Chuck was distracted by Carter tapping him on the shoulder. Coburn was outside the room. Carter lowered his voice to a whisper. "Chuck lets go talk outside the room." Chuck turned back to Susan and kissed her forehead. "Babe, I'm gonna go see what's keeping Dr. Barrows." He whispered to Susan's belly next, "hey, Rebel without a Diaper, be good while Daddy tries to find out how much time you do for attempted murder to your mother before you are born is, okay?"  
  
He followed Carter out of the room. "So, what's the plan? Where is Barrows?" Carter and Dr. Coburn both had worried and sad looks on their faces. "Chuck, we need to talk about the baby. Dr. Coburn found something extremely rare and unusual on the ultrasound." Chuck got very nervous, he started to sweat. "What, what did you find that was so unusual?" Dr. Coburn sat him in a chair. "We found... another baby." Chuck's eyes got very wide and then excited. "Twins, that's great. Why is everyone sad about that?" "Well, this isn't your average set of twins. We only found out about the second baby today, when we did an internal ultrasound. It's a new type of ultrasound. When we put in the scalp electrode on the baby's head, it had a very tiny camera attached. We hooked up the electrode cord to the ultrasound machine and looked around inside the uterus with a cord attachment for the camera, so we can have a 360 degree view. We found, practically being crushed by the baby that was always there and pushed into Susan's spine, another baby. Its umbilical cord was malformed and the fetus died, some time ago. The baby will be still born. It has no chance of survival, it will probably be pronounced dead a few minutes after birth."  
  
Chuck was stunned. He was on the verge of collapsing because he could barely breathe. He looked to Dr. Coburn, she looked stern and cold, like it wasn't any big deal to tell him this horrifying news. His baby's twin had died, and nobody knew until it was too late. Chuck was then over come with rage and fury. How could he let this happen? Chuck started to cry, but then stopped himself. He knew that he needed to stay strong for Susan and the other baby. "Does Susan know?" Carter sat in the chair next to him and touched his arm, in a caring way. "She needs a C-section to get the other baby out, the one that is still alive. Coburn wanted to tell her and deliver the babies a while ago, and she would tell you when you got here, but I forbad it. You needed to know now, and I think, as she fiancé you should be the one to tell Susan. Can you do it?" Chuck shook his head solemnly. He whispered a whisper of a scared man, who had just had his whole world turned upside down. "Yeah." He went back in Susan's room and sat down on the bed. Carter and Dr. Coburn stayed outside. Chuck took Susan's had and told her the tragic fate of their child. She looked to Carter and, and then started to cry, in Chuck's arm's, uncontrollably, for their child.  
  
Part VII  
Chuck was with Susan in the delivery room. They both held their breath, waiting to know the fate of their baby, the one who was fine. The baby's stats had dropped and Susan needed and emergency C-section. Carter, Abby, Sam, and Luka all waited outside in the waiting room. The whole ER knew about the other baby. They couldn't wait for Dr. Barrows. Susan was in shock. She was broken by the unexpected tragedy of the other, unknown baby. Chuck was sitting on a stool, next to Susan's head. Coburn was about to open the uterus. "Okay, give me suction, and retract that uteran muscle." The pediatrician walked into the room, just then. "How long to delivery?" Coburn continued to work, never looking up from the table. "Five minutes." Chuck stroked Susan's head. "Susan, it's gonna be okay. Really, we have had a little set back, but despite that we are going to love our babies more than we even know at this point." Susan turned her head, with tears in her eyes. "Babies?" Chuck smiled and kissed her on the lips. "Babies."  
  
A few short moments later they saw him. A tiny, screeching, bundle of red wrinkles. Coburn looked over the diving sheet in front of Susan's face and smiled. "Time of birth: 8:53 pm. Okay let's get him checked out and then you hand hold him all you want." Chuck and Susan kissed each other and cried. But this time, they shed tears of joy. The little baby boy was finally here, in their lives. "Suze, he's beautiful, but that doesn't surprise me, he has great genes. "Susan wiped a tear from her eye and smiled. "You think he looks like me, really?" Chuck gave a nervous grin. "Yeah, I was kind of talking about me and my great hair and winning smile." Susan was stunned. "Kidding, nah babe, he's all you. Look at him, he's gorgeous." Dr. Coburn cleared her throat. "So, does your son have a name?" Susan and Chuck look at each other, confused and bewildered. In all the excitement of the past five weeks, they hadn't seriously talked about names. Chuck winked at Susan, "we're still a little up in the air about that. We'll let you know."  
  
They both then got very quiet. Susan looked to Chuck, she was scared. "How much longer until...you know?" Susan could feel some pulling in her abdomen. "Just another minute, and then it'll be all-what the hell?" Chuck stood up in a flash. He couldn't believe what he saw. Susan was frightened, and you could hear it in her voice. "Chuck! Chuck, what's happening, am I losing too much blood? Please tell me!" Suddenly Dr. Coburn pulled out another bundle. The pediatrician came over fast, followed by two nurses. Chuck got very strong and stern, impatiently waiting to know what's going on with the other baby. The pediatrician took the baby over to the baby warmer and suctioned its airways. "This is remarkable, and unexpected. Call the NICU, right now!" Chuck walked towards the infant. "What the hell is going on? I thought it was dead, a still born. What's happening?" Susan was lying on the table helplessly, crying. "Chuck, please come and tell me what's going on with it, no one else will!" The pediatrician walked to the bedside, his eyes wide in amazement above his surgical mask. "She's alive."  
  
The pediatrician, not much older then Carter, came to them and bent Susan's eye-level on the operating table. "Your baby's breathing is labored, and her heart is weak. I need to tell you, that against all odds of being born alive, she is alive, but she won't last. Do you want us to help her? Susan was now crying more with joy and elation. "She, it's a little girl?" The doctor nodded. Chuck bent to Susan at eye-level. "What are we gonna do Suze, what's best for her?" Susan thought for a long moment. "Tube her, resuscitate her, do whatever you have to to save her!" The team of doctors and nurses worked quickly and suddenly there were signs of improvement. "She's stable for now. Her BP is 100/60 pulse ox is 90 on 100% O2 through the vent. We started a line of Litocaine to stabilize her heart rate, and Sephoxin to open her lungs. She needs to go to the NICU, now. As they wheeled the baby away, Susan and Chuck linked hands. Chuck waved a wave of awe, "Bye baby."  
  
Part VIII  
The next morning Susan was asleep in her hospital bed and Chuck was in a chair in the corner of the room. They were told that there wouldn't really be any new information of their babies' conditions until the next morning. Susan's eyes slowly opened as she recalled the delivery of the babies and the reality of her what will be her daughter's all-too-short life. She looked over to see Chuck smiling in his sleep. She didn't know what he was dreaming about, but she hoped it was of her, and healthy babies, and what could have been a beautiful family of four. She sat up and called to him quietly from the bed, she was too weak and sore from the C- section to get out for bed. "Chuck, wake up. We need to find out about the babies. Chuck!" Chuck stirred awake. He seemed groggy, like he had been on his feet for days without sleep. "Is it morning already? Damn, I feel like a just closed my eyes to rest for a few minutes. I was gonna sit with the babies after you fell asleep. I wanted to reassure you that they would be being watched over carefully. Aren't I a great husband-to-be?" He grinned.  
  
Susan smiled and reached for him to come hold her hand. "Seriously, you are a wonderful man and father, and I couldn't imagine last night without you being there. And with all the surprises, I seriously don't think I would have survived with out you. Thank you for being strong. They kiss. "And sexy," they kiss again, "and completely hot for me." They kiss passionately for what seems like an eternity. Just then there is a knock at the door. "Dr. Lewis, are you awake?" It is a NICU nurse. "Oh, I guess you are. I can come back." Susan and Chuck broke the kiss and smiled, embarrassed. "No, please stay. We were just going to get someone to give us an update." "Well, your daughter is still alive, but in very critical condition. Your son is doing fine and is ready to be brought to the Full Term Nursery this morning. Once in there he can be breast-fed and he can sleep in here with you." Susan and Chuck smiled. Chuck clapped his hands together and said, "thank God he is okay. I was-WE were so worried that we might loose both of them." Susan nodded. "Specifically, what is wrong with our daughter?" "You'll want to go talk to Dr. Tabish, the head of the NICU about your daughter. Since I just got on duty, the only thing I know for sure is that she is alive, but very ill." Susan and Chuck exchanged looks of worry and fear.  
  
Down on the Intensive Care floor, which also has the ICU, CCU, PICU, and SICU, Chuck pushed Susan's wheelchair to the glass doors of the NICU. They were there to find out how their little girl was doing, but they didn't go inside right away. They just stayed there for a few minutes, watching the doctors and nurses talk to anxious parents and other doctors and nurses. They gave meds and treatments to sick babies. The parents of one child were watching their child be coded, crying on each other's shoulders. Chuck put his hand on Susan's shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, we'll make sure she gets whatever is best, whether it's a heart-lung transplant, or meds to make her comfortable. We are going to make sure she has a good life, no matter how short it may be." Susan put her head on Chuck's head. "I know we will." They slowly went through the doors, as soon as Dr. Tabish cam into view. "Dr. Lewis and...?" "Chuck, Susan's fiancé." Chuck shook hands with Tabish. "It's nice to meet you Chuck, and I'm sorry our first meeting isn't going to be pleasant. Your daughter is very weak. As soon as she got down, here we ordered everything. CBC, Chest x-ray, urinalysis, blood cultures, spinal fluid cultures, throat cultures, EKG, EEG, MRI, full bone survey, CTs, lung volume tests, and more. She is on Ampacilin, Gentomiacin, and Litocaine to help stabilize her heart rate and breathing as best as possible. The vent is on 80% O2 with her at a pulse ox of 95, heart rate is 100, and BP is 140/90. She has premature lungs from oxygen deprivation in the womb as well as what is probably permanent brain damage. She is sedated now, but you can stay with her and talk to her if you want. It's fine if you don't, there are lots of parents who just can't watch their children like this." Susan was crying a little. "What are her chances of survival? And if she does survive, what kind of quality of life will she have?" "Well, it's still up in the air about whether her heart is strong enough to sustain life. And if its not, I can almost guarantee you that she would not survive a transplant. We also don't know how extensive the brain damage is." He got very solemn and quiet. "Do you want to hear my honest assessment and evaluation of your daughters current state and who I think about her future based on what I can conclude using my best medical expertise?" They looked at each other nervously and Susan said quietly, almost at a whisper, "yes." "I think, after the neuro-ultrasound in about and hour, you should think about continuation of life support." Susan immediately turned into Chuck's stomach and started to cry. Chuck looked up to Dr. Tabish with tears in his eyes. "Is there anyway that she can come be in out room with us and her twin brother. IF she's gonna die in the next couple of days, we at least want to have some real quality time with her, as a whole family." "I'm not sure. I suppose I could send an intern down there for a little while. Let's say we wait until after the ultrasound. I will call Peds. neuro right now and see if they can come any sooner. The sooner the better." They looked at their baby and sadly nodded.  
  
Part IX  
Susan and Chuck swooned over their baby boy while they waited for someone to bring their daughter. The neuro-ultrasound had been about a half- hour before hand. There wasn't really anything anybody could do. Her brain had severely underdeveloped structures including mental and physical structures. She would probably never walk, talk, hear, speak, see, or recognize her parents. Susan and Chuck love their daughter immensely but they just couldn't torture her for that kind of life for themselves. Chuck looked at the baby and smiled. "Suze, are we doing the right thing, maybe there is a chance, like a hope against hope. It happened before. She wasn't even suppose to be born alive." "Exactly, we already got our miracle, she doesn't have a shot in hell of being anything close to normal. I love her with all my heart Chuck, but IF she lives, and that would be a huge if, she would be nothing more than a gork with numerous medical problems. I can't torture our daughter to live for the life of a vegetable. That's not right or fair to her and you know it." "But maybe..." "No, come on we already decided. Now we need to give her a name. I want her to have the best name possible, I wouldn't feel right giving it to any other daughter we might have. I was thinking of Tierney for her first name." Chuck braced himself when he saw the intern from NICU at the door with their daughter. "We'll discuss it in a minute, Susan."  
  
He motioned for him to come in, and he did. "How long can she stay. We told Dr. Tabish that we want to take her off of the ventilator right after we are done in here." "Okay, how long do you want her to stay. Her heart rate and BP keep dropping, and we have had to up her meds twice since 5:00 am. I doubt she will make it through the night, so how about a half- hour? Its up to you guys, she's your baby." Susan touched her tiny body and held her teeny hand. "That's fine. Are you staying the whole time?" "I will be outside. So I'll be back in half an hour." He left. "Susan, what do you think of Tierney Angel Martin?" "It's perfect for our little angel." Susan smiled. Chuck lifted the baby boy out of his cradle and said, "Charles Nathan Martin Jr., or little Chuck as we will call you, say hello to your little sister."  
  
Susan was in the nursery with little Chuck while big Chuck sat in their room with Tierney. They both felt some quality alone time with their daughter would be good, even though it was only 10 minutes for both Susan and Chuck. He held her tiny body, hooked up to every machine on earth, in his big masculine arms. With the slightest pressure, he could easily crush her body, but he was as gentle as a kitten with her. "Hi princess, I know we will only know each other for a short time, but I'm your daddy. I want you to know right up front that I love you more than life itself, you and your twin brother and your beautiful mother. I have spent my whole adult life feeling like something was missing. Yes, I enjoyed single life, but for the past couple of years I have felt empty. Everything I did before I met your mom was just a fix, a temporary high, it wasn't true happiness. I guess I was chasing a dream, that I fulfilled not to long ago, when I met your mommy in Vegas. Our time together as a couple so far has been a wild ride to say the least, but I wouldn't change any of it." He was quite for a minute.  
  
"I have always been afraid that when I became a dad, I would screw it up really quick. I guess I could blame myself for your short life, but for some reason, when I look at your tiny body and your gorgeous face, I can't. It's like you make me feel like everything will be fine, no matter how not fine things are. Isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard?" He sighs and leans back in his chair, noticing that his ten minutes are almost up. Our "daddy-daughter quality time is almost up and from my end it has been ten of the best minutes of my life. I love you Tierney Angel Martin. You will always be Daddy's little girl." He wiped the tears from his eyes as he and Susan exchanged places. As he quickly brushed by her, she asked "Are you okay?" "I'm fine" was his cold reply. It was now Susan's time with Tierney.  
  
Part X  
Susan looked out the window to see Carter and Pratt playing basketball in the ambulance bay. "You know sweetie, I honestly wasn't sure if I would ever get to be a mom. I did sort of become a mom when I almost adopted little Suzie, but that wasn't the whole family package. Now, things are well, good. I have a job that, while it is hard at times, I really love it. I also have a wonderful man in my life, and beautiful children, both of them. Susan laughed to herself as Tierney mad a little baby gurgle through the ET tube that formed an involuntary smile. "What, you didn't think Chuck was the one? Yeah, me either...at first. But I don't know, ever since he was almost killed in the chopper crash at Thanksgiving, I have felt like we belong together, no matter how much I tried to fight it. After that I realized I can't let great things slip away out of fear. I was always in fear that I would be alone forever, but with Chuck I'm not. He's funny and cute, and sensitive and protective, and he's got great hair. Come on, admit it, you know you like it, even though you can't see it. Chuck is the guy for me. I know it's a crazy match, but hey you'll never see the neurotic pair that is one generation back from me and your dad, Cookie died two years ago. God, what a couple she and Henry were, a real piece of work! If you don't know, they are your grandparents on my side. I have on messed up family between them and Chloe, but I won't go into that. Tierney, baby, it's almost time to go, so I just desperately want you to know that I would give the world for more time with you. I don't know if I will have another daughter, but I couldn't have asked for a better one then you. I couldn't have asked for a better family, between you, Little Chuck and Big Chuck, you guys are the best. I wouldn't trade any of it in for anything, you never mess with perfection." Susan smiled, and with tears in her eyes she gave Tierney a little kiss on her forehead. Chuck walked back in, with Tabish hanging back at the door, and he held Susan's hand tightly. "I told Dr. Tabish that I want to do this here, in our private room.  
  
Tabish walked in with his head to the floor. He lifted his eyes to Chuck and Susan slowly. "Are you sure you are ready?" Susan turned away from the baby as she let a few tears fall, and Chuck nodded. Dr. Tabish unhooked the vent and the monitor went from V-tach, to V-fib, to asystole all too quickly. Susan and Chuck held little Chuck as they cried for their little girl, Tierney Angel Martin, who had just died.  
  
About a week later they had a small service for her baptism and blessings for burial. She was buried in a cemetery with many other babies, on the outskirts of Chicago, in the fresh air and green grass. As they walked away from her grave, after the funeral, Susan and Chuck walked arm in arm to the car. "She'll be okay Suze, you know she's with the angels now, they'll protect her. "I know, but I'm her mommy, I'm supposed to be there where she is scared or hurt or alone. Who's going to protect her from those things? A mother knows what to do for her babies and when, and she's my baby and she's up there without me. Chuck looked her straight in the face. "If there's anything we have learned from everything went through with her, it's that she is strong, probably stronger then the two of us combined. It's going to hurt us for a long time, but yo do what you have to for the ones you love, even if it hurts. That's how love goes. She will be okay." Susan smile and kissed Chuck lightly. "I know," she whispered. "I know." Chuck pulled himself to speak softly to her ear, "but you know, I think that maybe we will all have an easier time of getting through it if we make things permanent sooner rather then later. This whole thing just makes me surer that I love and don't want to be without you. Suze lets get married soon!" She nodded as they kissed. Susan held Chuck's hand as he carried Little Chuck in his carry as the three of them left. Susan sighed quietly to herself. "Yeah, that's how love goes."


End file.
